What to do?

Tuesday - March 08, 2005

What to do?

I got in late last night...almost too late. I only dilated twice before leaving, then sat in the airport too long before the flight. So, I only dilated 3 times yesterday, that's if you count #3 at around 1am. It was a little tight, but things went ok. I've mainly been on the 2T and the regular 2, except for #1 this morning (in order to get things started).

It's nice to be home, but it's also kinda lonely, even with the roomie around. I only unloaded the light weight stuff last night, and unpacked some of my suitcases into a smaller bag that I could carry, so that I had my dilators and something to sleep in.

I went grocery shopping today and since I figure I'll have time to mess around with some different dishes, I bought some stuff to try, as well as the basics. Getting around seems to be ok, although I still walk a little funny and slow.

I guess today has also been one of those days where I just stare at the list of things to do. I still need to fully unpack, do some laundry, and clean things up a bit. Over the weeks leading up to SRS, I also worked on a list of things to do during this "time off":

- Watch some shows and miniseries I taped a long time ago
- Try to dig up my medical records from the military archives
- Update the sperm bank with my current info
- Work on the new birth certificate
- Update and obtain a new passport
- Update my gender marker with Social Security
- See a dermatologist about the pigmentation patches on my face
- Work on some screenplay and writing ideas
- Investigate take music lessons
- Update my US 50 state quarters collection (Yes, I'm a nerd)
- Check into a new high school diploma with the new name
- Re-frame college diplomas
- Check stock pile of old comic books for the latest Batman movie tie-in
- Pick up my room
- Work on my presentation for California Dreaming

Let's see, perhaps a summary as well. I'm still bleeding from the clitoris, I change pads (Carefree Medium Protection Regular Size Pantiliners) a couple times a day, I think I've slightly torn down on the lower end (what Dr. Meltzer called the triangle), I'm still tired a little more so than usual, sitting is still slightly uncomfortable, I still sleep with a pillow between my knees to keep the pressure comfortable, the shooting pains continue as the nerves reconnect, peeing is still fairly messy but it mainly comes out in a stream aimed a little more forward that what I would prefer (which will hopefully subside with the swelling), and I'm still fairly inflexible around the middle area...somewhat.

I'm also a little sexually frustrated (but haven't seen any depression yet, although I'm watching for it). There were a lot of pretty girls in Arizona and well, there really isn't any way of releasing those urges and desires. Hopefully this is all residual stuff from my re-exposure to testosterone, which could take a little time to expunge from my system...possibly a few more weeks at the worst. If it continues, I may have too much testosterone being produced by the adrenal gland, which might mean I'd have to restart the spiro. Yuck.

I also ate very well during my recovery (especially with the very decent food at Greenbaum) and felt I probably gained weight, even though I spent a day emptying out everything, and a day doing nothing much but surgery. I ate fruits and vegetables, along with soups and salads for the first few days. I figured I should also eat a little more than usual to help the body heal. I jumped on the scale this morning and found I gained about 5 pounds. I can't really work it off right now, but I figure with time I'll get back down to a more svelte weight.