Day 12 - A New Day

I was up a little earlier this morning (I'm not sure how since I always seem to stay up too late) and decided to catch the sun coming up. I grabbed the camera and stepped out on the deck and caught the sun just glimpsing over the distant mountains. The air was crisp, but not cold, and people were shuffling to and from work around the medical campus. I'll miss this place. I will have to say that being away from work for a while is definitely nice, especially with the wonderful weather here in Scottsdale. It's been 'basic shirt' weather with a jacket needed once the sun goes down...very nice, especially for February/March.

I've kinda been waiting around this morning to have the catheter removed. Nici (who unfortunately had to be re-cathetered) just called not long ago and we chatted about dilation and de-catheterization. We laughed about a lot of stuff. When I mentioned the catheter coming out she said, "Ahhh...it's THE day." The nurses this morning said the same thing. Christa, who was cleaning and changing my sheets, etc., and Julie, when I told them the catheter was coming out, both responded with, "It's the big day."

"I thought the big day was last Tuesday?"

"Nah, this is the big day."

I guess it is sorta...now that things have healed a little and all the little tubes in me will be out and I can finally look down and just be me.

I was reading Amber's blog for her de-catheterized day and she mentioned that the nurses needed proof that she had peed. I walked out to the front desk and asked Julie if she needed proof that I had peed or not, and she said she would take my word. "Why would you lie?"

"Well, some people might not like to be re-cathetered."

Julie then said that after 4 hours, they'd be in enough pain to have it re-inserted.

LaCrista, from Dr. Meltzer's office, stopped by while Connie and I were chatting. She had letters for both of us that concerned our irreversible sex change surgery. I also asked her if she knew where Janet was since I was waiting on her for the catheter stuff. I sounds like she is in the office for a few procedures.

Oh yeah!

11:08pm - I hadn't heard anything out of Janet this morning and with LaCrista mentioning a probable early afternoon visit, I figured I could get my lunch in with Amber and Blair (who'd just arrived via plane) before Amber flew out.

I briefly chatted with Jen who was having labiaplasty after having had vaginoplasty over 20 years ago. Then I was off to dilate before catching a fast shower. After applying my morning layer of Bacitracin, I was off to my local favorite, Port of Subs, to pick up sandwiches for us. As I was approaching the hotel with food in hand, Janet calls to tell me I should come back to get the catheter out. Grrrrrrr..... So, I drudgingly turned around and walked back to Greenbaum. I waited for a while for Janet to make it to my room. Amber and Blair made it to the room before Janet, so they ran off to the deck to eat lunch.

Janet came in about that time and started telling me what she was going to be doing. I laid down on the bed on top of the pad I'd already placed there. She drew about 7cc of liquid from the catheter balloon, then drew a little more residual liquid out of the second line. She then said there would probably be some pain as she slowly drew the catheter out of me. It did hurt for the first part, but then it seemed to slide right out of me. She said I needed to pee as soon as I could, so I walked to the bathroom to sit down on the toilet. I'd drank a little water when I got back to Greenbaum in the hopes of filling my bladder. As soon as I sat down and relaxed, I basically started peeing. Janet walks into the bathroom just as I am relaxing and starts filling up some bottle with water. She moves over to me as I'm peeing and says, "This is a spritz bottle and will help initiate urination." as she sits there spraying me with warm water on my mons area.

I look down and say, "I'm already peeing" and kinda chuckle.

"Good girl," she says in a very surprised voice.

I spray a little warm water and then pat dry. I put my clothes back on and listen to a little more instructions that I've probably since forgotten. Well, darnit, I was ready to eat lunch.

Janet also offered pain meds even though I wasn't really having any pain. I'd heard stories, though, about T's that got home and then started feeling pain, so I took her up on the offer. I figure if I don't have any pain, I'll just use them for electrolysis.

(What's really surprising about the whole peeing thing is that in the past I had a very shy bladder. It was almost impossible for me to use a standing urinal if there was anyone standing to either side of me...especially if there were no barriers. I just couldn't pee with anyone standing around. In places like sports stadiums, it was even harder. If there were people standing in line to use the urinals, I just couldn't seem to pee. I'd have to go to one of the stalls in order to urinate. I don't know why, but the GID could have been a factor with all of it. That's why I was so surprised when I was able to go pee with Janet basically standing there squirting me. Did I finally feel in the right body that I no longer had any anxieties preventing me from peeing with people around...or was I in a hurry to eat lunch?)

"You're wearing jeans?" Amber says as I open the door to the patio to eat lunch.

"Yeah, I tried them on this morning and they fit pretty good." It's nice to get back into my jeans. I guess I just feel more comfortable in them.

I ate a quick lunch with them, then walked back to the hotel before saying our good-byes to Amber. I'll probably see her next week, but it's still hard saying good-bye.

Afterward, Blair and I found Zorba's just south of the hotel and bought Connie a rubber ducky personal massager just like I have. I gave it to her on our return to Greenbaum.

Doriz, a genetic woman who had FFS with Dr. O and whom I'd met at Cocoon this past summer, lives nearby and stopped by to chat for a while. She also brought some fantastic oranges from her backyard. We chatted a little about Dr. O and FFS, as well as my recent surgery here in Scottsdale.

As soon as she departed, though, I crashed for a nap. Tired. All of that walking really wears me out. I got up a bit later, dilated, then we all gathered to head next door to Oregano's for dinner. We (me, Karista, Connie, and Blair) took some pictures with the nurses before leaving.

We waited a while to be seated, but finally were, before ordering two pizzas. As time went on, though, I realized that I hadn't said good-bye to Julie who has taken care of me at least 5 days during my stay at Greenbaum. She has been absolutely fantastic to me and actually has some of that same vibe that Cocoon's Trisha and Mary-Lou have. Although most of the nurses here are pretty decent, there are a few that really stand out. Julie has for me.

I wanted to say good-bye to Julie since she wouldn't be here tomorrow, so since we were waiting on the pizza, I just 'ran' back across the street. I took the elevator up and found Julie busy at work, right before shift change. I told her I wanted to say good-bye and thank her for really taking care of me.

"You're going to make me cry," I told her as tears welled up in my eyes. I'm really going to miss her. We hugged. She walked me to the elevator and said to call them before I come back for labiaplasty. We hugged again and the tears grew bigger. I walked back to dinner...half crying, half drying my eyes before I got back.

After walking back from dinner, I sat with Jen as she was recovering from her labiaplasty. She transitioned so young back in the early 80's - her story is amazing. Even though she was definitely feeling a little woozy from the surgery and drugs, we still had some nice little conversations. It's nice hearing from people who had their SRS over 20 years ago and still have their wits.